Excerpts from
Sacred Practices for Conscious Living


Lovingkindness
The journey into wholeness brings many unexpected gifts. One of these is compassion. This extraordinary state of being arises spontaneously when we allow ourselves to recognize that we have at least one thing in common with all beings: our capacity to suffer. This realization creates a bridge of understanding between ourselves and others. As we become more whole and acknowledge the inevitability of our inherent imperfection, our capacity for compassion increases. As it does, a sense of connection with others deepens and expands. Within a context of compassion, we tap into a collective human experience and realize that we are not alone in our suffering. The world becomes populated with people whose deepest yearnings for love, comfort, and security aren't so very different from our own. For this reason, even as the sources of suffering may differ, depending on our culture and life circumstances, we are alike when it comes to the inevitable fact that we all can be touched by feelings and experiences that cause distress. . .

Lovingkindness, called metta in Sanskrit, is the state of mind and being from which compassion emerges naturally. When we practice lovingkindness, we truly enter a realm in which we recognize that all beings - including ourselves, our loved ones, and our enemies - seek to be happy and free from suffering. We not only recognize and empathize with the suffering of others, as we do when we experience compassion; we also actively wish for [ourselves and] all beings to be free from suffering and to find happiness. . .

As a therapist, I initially worried that practicing lovingkindness could lead to denial or passivity in relationships with others. Many of us want to rush into forgiveness before truly acknowledging and resolving the conflicted and negative feelings we have about others. The surprise to me was that mixed feelings have a home in lovingkindness, and wishing others well in no way diminishes awareness of the consequences of their actions. . .

When you first begin to practice lovingkindness, you may have to act "as if" you wish happiness and freedom from suffering for yourself and others. If this is the case, I encourage you to be willing to experiment with the following meditation, and give yourself an opportunity to discover the surprising power of lovingkindness as it develops into an experience that is alive and real for you.