Sacred Practices for Conscious Living
by Nancy J. Napier

• Excerpt: Introduction
  
  
• Excerpt: Chapter 1: The Shadow
  An Invitation to Dynamic Wholeness
  
  
• Chapter 2: Compassion and Lovingkindness
  Living with an Open Heart
  
  
• Chapter 3: Getting Grounded
  Nurturing Yourself as Bodymind
  
  
• Chapter 4: Practicing Mindfulness
  Living Consciously
  
  
• Chapter 5: Gratitude and Generosity
  Engaging a Prosperous Life
  
  
• Chapter 6: Oneness and Interconnection
  The Interplay of Collective Consciousness
  
  
• Chapter 7: Creating Possibility
  The Dance of Intention and Synchronicity
  
  
• Chapter 8: Opening to Your Optimal Future
  Saying Yes to All You Can Be
  
  
• Chapter 9: Intuition and Well-Being
  Affirmation, Prayer, Guides, and Other Nonlocal Phenomena
  
  
• Chapter 10: Living Consciously
  Putting It All Together

Introduction

It takes a lifetime to find our way home. We all suffer from homesickness, a longing to return to the cosmic household we have never left.
—Sam Keen

As this book took form, I realized it was going to require a level of personal sharing that I hadnât felt compelled to do in my previous writing. Sacred Practices draws on my own "journey home" to a more solid sense of self ö a journey that has been colored, from the earliest time I can remember, by an awareness of spiritual realms.

The book could as easily have been called Lessons My Grandmother Taught Me, as it reflects many of the assumptions and themes I learned at my grandmotherâs knee. She was a rather proper, Victorian woman who also happened to be a healer, a clairvoyant, and a Theosophist, with a deep belief in, and experience of, multiple dimensions of reality.

Over the years, I have come to appreciate the impact my early experience has had on how I understand and function in the world. As a young adult, I turned my back on my grandmotherâs teachings, but I couldnât shut out my own perceptions and experiences of a world where visible and invisible dimensions constantly interact. Discovering books written for the public on the subject of quantum physics ö with descriptions of a reality that reflected the one I had inhabited as a child ö began to give me a way to reconnect to, and translate, some of what my grandmother taught me. This effort has culminated in a practical and evolving worldview focused on the marriage of spiritual and material realities.

My hunger for spiritual instruction has led me to read many books and explore many approaches to the sacred. All are reflected in these pages, but now they have become so intertwined ö such a complex fabric of ideas and assumptions ö that I no longer know what came from where. My background as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist adds a perspective that supports a belief in change: that it is possible for all of us to move in new directions and to deepen the richness of daily experience. Fundamental to my worldview is a belief that reality is more fluid than we perceive with our five senses, that there is a dynamic, creative interplay between seen and unseen dimensions of reality. Within this context, we are all co-creators of the life we experience.

Spiritual approaches around the world and throughout history have taught us how to enter unseen worlds and draw on them for inspiration and guidance. These traditions offer various means by which we may find a sense of meaning and purpose, regardless of which particular set of beliefs we follow. If the sacred practices you engage support and deepen your sense of wholeness and well-being, you have discovered a treasure beyond words. If these same practices allow you to contribute positively to your world, everyone benefits.

Themes and Assumptions

In choosing which elements of my worldview to share on our journey together, I felt like a prospector panning for gold nuggets in a mountain of experiences and ideas. Eventually, I recognized a pattern of assumptions and repeating themes. Because these assumptions and themes weave their way throughout the book, I want to describe them here to make what is invisible in my thinking visible and clearly defined in words.

• Reality as an Art Form

Think of mud pies and fingerpainting and the pleasure you may have had as a child when you had permission to play in the goo, to make as big a mess as your creative moment inspired. Then, imagine the primordial ooze from which life on this planet emerged ö the slime and muck becoming a womb for unbridled creativity.

Basically, physical reality is an organic, messy, dynamic, and creative art form, comprised of unexpected shapes, sizes, and colors originating in an unseen and unknown source. At nonphysical levels of reality, human consciousness, too, has its own kind of messiness. It is filled with mixed feelings and beliefs: hopes and fears, love and hate, triumph and despair. It is also a wellspring of creativity, encompassing a variety and range of sentiency and thought. Consciousness also expresses its creativity within all other species with whom we cohabit the earth, increasing the complexity of elements in the constantly evolving art form that is our reality.

Is there an underlying intelligence behind all that emerges from the primal chaos? Who is the artist playing in all the goo? On a small scale, could it be that we humans, as individuals, somehow interact with each other and physical reality in ways that have an effect on what gets created in the world at large? This inquiry arises from one of the assumptions I bring to this journey, which is well captured in the familiar saying, "If you think you can do something ö or think you canât ö youâre right." This quotation encompasses my first assumption about reality: We experience what we expect.

Sometimes called self-fulfilling prophecies, these beliefs, fears, and assumptions about who we are and how the world operates combine to shape our perception of the quality and nature of our daily experience. In Sacred Practices, we will explore how we can become conscious co-creators of our reality, rather than remaining passive recipients of what our unexamined expectations reflect back to us. It is important to note that there is a difference between seeing ourselves as co-creators and believing that we personally create every single thing that happens to us. Reality is too big and too complex for that. What we may be able to do, though, is learn to cooperate with the events, challenges, and experiences that come our way in a manner that enhances our quality of life. By looking at practices that deal with creating intentions, making conscious choices, living mindfully, and working with affirmations and rituals, we will create a storehouse of concrete tools with which to shape our expectations ö and our personal reality.

• Life Is Like a Kaleidoscope

My second assumption has been demonstrated by quantum physics and can be visualized by the kaleidoscope: no matter how fixed or unchanging the world may seem, we actually live within a context of infinite probabilities. We assume that reality is characterized by qualities of certainty and predictability, but, in fact, it is more like a kaleidoscope, which, when turned, shifts into new, unanticipated patterns. I use the image of the kaleidoscope from time to time because it so beautifully conveys in material form the tremendous array of possibilities that exist in what we imagine to be a fixed, predictable world.

What is exciting about the idea of probabilities and a fluid rather than fixed reality is that it means we donât have to settle for how things are at present. Instead we have the power to turn the kaleidoscope of our lives by consciously making choices about the quality of life we want to have. In this way, we set in motion new possibilities. Weâll explore a number of ways to do just that in the chapters that follow.

• Weâre All in This Together

One of the teachings of my grandmotherâs legacy is that each of us is but one cell in an unimaginably large organism. This early learning shapes a third basic assumption: each of us, as individuals, is part of one life that is expressing itself in an infinite variety of forms and consciousnesses. Just as the individual cells in our bodies depend on the well-being of our total organism ö our species, every other life form, the earth itself.

From this assumption emerges a companion idea that we each contribute to, and draw from, a collective consciousness comprised of the thoughts, feelings, expectations, impulses, beliefs, and wisdom of every one of us, past and present. To my delight, a number of years ago I discovered that there now is some research to support this idea, which we will explore in a later chapter.

I believe that we are never truly alone on our journey through life ö however lonely we may feel at times ö because we have constant access to the combined experience of our species throughout all time.

• Thereâs More to Reality Than Meets the Eye

Because of my grandmotherâs emphasis on recognizing and interacting with invisible realms of reality, my world has always consisted of at least six senses. A final ö and pervasive ö assumption I bring to this book is one that Iâve already mentioned: reality consists of both visible and invisible dimensions that interact in dynamic ways.

Early on, I learned to be cautious about these "extra senses" when out in the world. My grandmother was concerned with what people would think, and she constantly warned me about the dangers of sharing what I learned from her with others. Were she alive today, I think she would be heartened by the emergence of popular books on spirituality, near-death experiences, miracles, and angels. She would discover first-hand that her experience of the world no longer needs to be hidden.

In later chapters we will explore how to develop your "sixth sense" and look at the benefits and uses of intuition to enhance the quality of daily life. We will also look at how to access inspiration and a greater sense of connection with spiritual dimensions of experience.

• Life Is Sacred and Has Meaning

There has not been a day in my life when I havenât felt a deep sense of meaning and purpose. For this reason, no matter how hard the struggles, how sharp the pain, how discouraging the moment, I have always had the belief that my life has meaning. This is the foundation to which I return, a place to lick my wounds, to rest and begin anew.

Experiencing a sense of purpose in life gives us a home base from which to draw nourishment, support, and encouragement and from which to venture forth. It is the place within which we connect to the sacred.

For me, what is sacred is that unnameable, indescribable source of life and consciousness that pervades every particle of reality, visible and invisible. As we explore the sacred and the practices that acknowledge and honor it, allow yourself to make sense of this journey within the context of your own understanding. It is my belief that the diversity of religious and spiritual traditions emerges from the underlying impulse of the sacred in the first place, so whatever your tradition may be, you are celebrating the sacred in powerful and meaningful ways.

• Life Is about Wholeness

As a therapist, the theme of wholeness is important in my work with people. Wholeness ö in a person or in the world at large ö leaves out nothing. It encompasses light and shadow, that which is beautiful and that which is not, the sacred and the profane, the loved and the hated.

From studies on ecology we now know that we ignore the interconnectedness - the inherent wholeness ö in the natural world at our own peril. This danger exists as well within individuals, communities, and cultures. To deny or disown any aspect of the whole of reality leads to the potential for destruction of the environment, the extinction of other species, wars, abuse, and social injustice on individual and collective levels. To affirm the existence and necessity of contrasting, even contradictory, elements in ourselves and our world leads to greater equilibrium and well-being.

The journey toward psychological wholeness is a deep, underlying urge to express the totality of our being. This is a theme we will return to again and again. When we can acknowledge our potential for both good and bad, we create the possibility of a greater degree of choice about how we want to be. By experiencing our whole selves, we not only promote a greater sense of self-acceptance and well-being, we also increase our capacity to tolerate and respect differences and diversity in others.

• Living in the Present Moment Means Really Being Alive

A major theme that pervades just about every page of this book is the importance of learning to live in the present moment. Called mindfulness in Buddhist practice, being aware of what we are thinking, feeling, sensing, and doing right here, right now, offers us a means to be active participants in the reality we create.

If we are not awake, we cannot make choices. When our attention is anywhere and everywhere except on what weâre doing and experiencing right now, we lose an opportunity to make the moment-to-moment choices that create a life we enjoy living. Instead we often end up immersed in frustration, boredom, or some other kind of discomfort. To become more mindful is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself in your journey toward greater psychological wholeness.

• Suffering Is an Inevitable Part of Life

A final theme ö and one that may at first sound more morbid than it actually is ö involves the recognition that suffering is an inevitable part of everyoneâs life; it is impossible to escape experiencing some kind of suffering sometime in life. We share a capacity to suffer with all creatures. No sentient life form is exempt.

When we are living consciously, we recognize that suffering isnât a signal that something is wrong, but rather a reminder to awaken to the source of the suffering and discover what may be done to ease it. When we canât ease it, suffering becomes a call to draw on practices that allow us to move through it with the least pain, the least wear and tear. We can at least be present with ourselves, experiencing what life demands at this moment.

Recognizing that suffering is part of life allows us to develop increasing compassion and lovingkindness toward ourselves and others. Whenever we suffer, we recognize that we are participating in a universal experience. To embrace the reality of suffering allows us to stare it straight in the eye; we no longer have a need to fend it off or hide from it. Perhaps, because of this, we gain the freedom to choose to help ease suffering whenever and wherever we come upon it.

Bringing It Down to Earth

All the exciting possibilities inherent in a multidimensional, quantum view of the world won'â mean much to us if they don't affect and improve the quality of daily life. To help ground these possibilities in everyday ways of being, each chapter contains numerous experiments ö things we can do to translate new perspectives into action ö and guided meditations that offer an opportunity to embody the possibilities.

The experiments are arranged in a way that builds and deepens awareness of the theme being explored. Some are quite simple, others more complex. With each, you are invited to engage in activities that will add directly to your understanding and experience. There is a power in doing that cannot be felt through words alone.

Some of the guided meditations are brief, while others are quite long. Whenever you feel it would help, you might tape-record the meditations so you wonât need to refer back to the written version during your experience. In each, draw on as many of your senses as you can engage comfortably. The more alive your experience, the more vivid your understanding will be of what the journey seeks to share.

Many of these experiments and guided meditations emerge from my own experience. Others are derived from a variety of spiritual and religious traditions. All are informed by the deep well of wisdom directly available to all of us, intuitively, from our collective consciousness.

First and foremost, these sacred practices are offered as practical ways of being and doing in the world today, right now. An added benefit is that they also enhance an underlying sense of aliveness, of spiritual and psychological vitality ö the fruits of a life lived with greater awareness, ease, and equanimity.

Each chapter develops ideas that continue throughout. We begin where the world began ö in the primordial much and goo. For us humans, that means the realm of the disowned self. From there, we expand into an array of explorations, including the domain of bodymind, the power of gratitude and generosity, mindfulness practices, and so on, culminating with a review of rituals and practices that allow you to create sacred space wherever you find yourself. For this reason, I recommend that you first read the book from front to back; then, as you discover themes that resonate for you in the present moment, you can concentrate on the chapters and exercises that best support your current journey.

Most of the chapters contain examples of how people have applied these practices in their daily lives. All the examples, except my own, are composites and draw from the experiences and stories of relatives, friends, colleagues, clients, and workshop participants. Formulating composites is like writing a novel. It allows me creative license, even as it protects the privacy of people I care about. When my friends think they recognize themselves, I say, "Great!" The fact that the examples feel so familiar says something about the quality of our shared consciousness and universal experience.

At the end of the book is a list of suggested readings for each chapter. Youâll find some books listed for more than one chapter; others will apply specifically to a given subject. As with all reading lists, this one will be limited and out of date by the time it appears in print! When choosing inspirational resources, perhaps the best method is to go to your favorite bookstore and notice what jumps off the shelf into your hands.

And So, We Begin . . .

For the journey, I invite you to pack an open mind, a healthy dose of curiosity, and a willingness to suspend disbelief as we explore living consciously ö what it encompasses and the unique gifts it holds for each of us ö and allow the sacred to accompany us every step of the way. Even as you travel within the boundaries of your own psychological landscape, remember that you are never alone. Instead, at all times, we each journey alone together.

Chapter 1

The Shadow:
An Invitation to Dynamic Wholeness

To honor and accept oneâs shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It is whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime.
— Robert A Johnson

One of the most powerful journeys we can take together is through a land of shadows, wherein lurk the disowned, unacceptable parts of ourselves. This landscape can be a frightening place to visit, or it can become a source of discovery and deepening into greater psychological wholeness and vitality ö and a more skillful capacity to live consciously. Itâs up to each person: if we allow ourselves to become willing explorers of the terrain of human fallibility, we can experience a rich and satisfying journey. If we are attached to an image of ourselves that allows no faults to show, looking at our shadow side can be a distinctly uncomfortable experience.

For me, the content of this chapter is both the most exhilarating and challenging to convey. It is difficult and uncomfortable, in many ways, to look at disowned parts of ourselves. But such a process provides a powerful means of achieving a greater sense of wholeness and self-acceptance. I can only tell you that it has been one of the most profound parts of my own journey. Here, we ask ourselves to tolerate our own "messiness," to become comfortable with the knowledge that we are inherently imperfect beings, that we are frail, greedy, selfish creatures ö even as we are magnificent and beautiful expressions of the sacred in action. Repeatedly, I have observed people ö myself included ö blossom as they develop a lighter, more forgiving relationship with their own fallibility. Somehow, it seems, our willingness to know ourselves as whole people, warts and all, stimulates a capacity to be more comfortable in our own skins and to express ourselves more openly, spontaneously, and congruently.

And, so, we begin our journey home by deepening our awareness of the most hidden aspects of ourselves that comprise our shadow. For each of us, the shadow consists of disowned aspects of our personalities ö positive as well as negative ö that had to be hidden when we were young: those elements of our natural self-expression that were disapproved of, punished, humiliated, or otherwise judged as unacceptable by the important people in our lives.

Disowning parts of the self is an unconscious, self-protective mechanism that allows us to fit in as we grow up. The shadow doesnât exist only for people who come from troubled families or for individuals with particular kinds of psychological problems. The psychological dynamics that create the shadow provide a necessary adaptation to our interpersonal world. We all participate in creating shadow selves that contain whatever qualities we were not allowed to express openly.

When we donât acknowledge our own wholeness ö when we continue to push away parts of ourselves that are a source of shame, fear, or anger ö these parts erupt unexpectedly and create all manner of difficulty. For example, we may unconsciously make enemies of those who act as the representatives of the very characteristics we canât tolerate in ourselves. We create a world of "us versus them," in which we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to get other people to change. In fact, if we would only stop and look in a mirror, we would discover the source of much of our discomfort and displeasure staring back at us.

The shadow is not just a garbage can filled with ugliness and unsavory characteristics, however. It also contains all manner of human potential and creativity ö for both good and ill. Itâs a treasure chest filled with aspects of personal power, talent, resourcefulness, and other useful and positive attributes that, for whatever reasons, were not tolerated or celebrated when we were young.

The shadow also contains more than disowned attributes, be they positive or negative. It holds all the known elements of our personalities that are outside conscious awareness most of the time. Think of the movement of sunlight around the planet. In the same way that it canât be daytime all around the world at the same moment, we canât be totally self-aware at any given time. Half the world is in darkness when the other half is in daylight, just as parts of ourselves are in shadow while others are in conscious awareness. What counts is that we develop the capacity to allow our awareness to move as naturally as sunlight, to illuminate and acknowledge any aspect that rises to the surface.

Since much of the shadow is unlovely, when I work with people to uncover disowned aspects of themselves, many initially find the work unsettling. Even so, what excites and inspires me about the process are those times when I experience these same people coming alive with an increased sense of self-acceptance and personal power. For this reason, even though the shadow contains elements that may be downright undesirable or unfriendly, acknowledging and accepting them as part of our inevitable wholeness is profoundly liberating.

There are important reasons for connecting with the shadow side of ourselves before moving on to explore "lighter" and more expansive attributes of the spiritual side of being. Itâs been my experience that burrowing down into the shadow offers a natural, spontaneous way to move into a more expansive, lighter sense of self, just as an inherent urge for equilibrium constantly moves us toward wholeness. Itâs as though the deeper we go, the more open and transparent we become.

On the other hand, when we seek expansive states without including our shadow aspects, an equal tendency toward internal balance plunges us spontaneously into the muck and mire to bring us back into wholeness. By beginning with the shadow, we consciously choose when and how we want to engage aspects of ourselves that are a source of discomfort, even as we open to more expansive, compassionate, and accepting states of being.

I have a deeply personal reason for honoring shadow work. My experience of my grandmother was that she sought the light at the expense of acknowledging the darker aspects of her being. As a result, her need to control and overpower those around her often was acted out on me and other family members. My grandmother has no conscious notion that she could act as a tyrant. Her self-image allowed awareness only of those aspects of her personality that reflected her role as healer and spiritual teacher.

The Beauty of Light and Shadow Combined

Wholeness requires us to discover the contribution and value of both light and shadow. Everywhere we turn, we find evidence of the constructive and creative interplay of these two elements. When the artist draws or paints, she uses shading to create depth and complexity. The writer depends on the conflict between good and evil, or suffering and joy, to drive his stories. In a concrete and tangible way, without the presence of both light and shadow, we couldnât read the words on this page.

In nature, sunlight without shade can burn us; shade with no sunlight can create a chill. Light plays in the shadows of a forest, dappling the ground and bringing tree trunks, branches, and leaves into bold relief against the darker background of the shade created by the trees. The serene, often dramatic, beauty of a forest emerges in the lay of light and shadow. With only light, a forest would appear flat, like the artistâs drawing without shading. With only shadow, there wouldnât be much to see.

In human experience, we learn the delicious gift of happiness even more powerfully when we have also tasted sorrow. Eating a beautiful meal is even more satisfying when we come to it hungry. Friendship becomes more precious when we can recall times weâve been alone. As these examples demonstrate, all light or all dark, all one thing or the other, reveals only half a picture. To be whole means, of necessity, to embrace both.

The Power of Perception

The shadow becomes dangerous ö within and between individuals, and collectively in society ö when we insist on pushing out of conscious awareness those aspects of ourselves we just canât bear to own. When this happens, the disowned contents travel in one of two possible directions. We run the risk of expressing disowned parts of ourselves unconsciously and indirectly ö as my grandmother did ö when we say something cruel without realizing it, or when we deny weâre angry and, say, eat candy instead of acknowledging our true feelings. The second, and potentially more destructive, possibility is one I mentioned earlier, and it bears repeating: when we project our disowned parts onto others and make them into the enemy, we assign to them what we refuse to see in ourselves.

Projection operates in interpersonal relationships, at work, and on a larger scale, within communities and between groups and nations. When we canât bear to know that we feel vulnerable or helpless about a situation, for example, we run the risk of projecting that intolerable feeling of helplessness onto others and then vilifying or attacking them. At unconscious levels, the attack is an attempt to destroy in them the very thing we canât acknowledge or experience in ourselves.

Think of a co-worker or friend who drives you up a wall. Your reaction may stem from the fact that you think she dresses inappropriately. With a feeling of righteous indignation, you want to tell her to get her act together and dress in a more subdued or business-like manner. After doing some shadow work on your feelings, you may discover that your co-worker or friend mirrors a daily battle you had with your parents about how you had to dress before you were allowed to go to school. Rather than being fully aware of how humiliated or angry you felt when they wouldnât let you wear what was in style, you may have pushed those feelings into the shadow. Now, decades later, they are activated by this personâs ability to wear the kinds of clothes you wanted to wear but couldnât.

One a collective level, people of color have historically been the recipients of shadow projections from Western European cultures. Many white people experience an underlying distrust and fear of people of color. These reactions reflect an inherent fear of the unfamiliar parts of themselves rather than a valid response to genuinely negative qualities attributed to "the other."

The pay-off for projecting shadow parts is that, if we succeed in assigning negative traits and characteristics to someone else, we feel more comfortable in two ways: we access a soothing feeling of self-righteousness ö weâre better than someone else, and we donât have to think about how we might possess the hated characteristics as part of our own inevitable human makeup.

Someone once said that whatever any human being is capable of being or doing is also within the capacity of each and every one of us. This is a discomfiting thought for a lot of people, because most of us donât want to know that we have the capacity to hate, kill, rape, torture, or steal. Take a moment to think about the vilest, most despicable behavior you can imagine. Whatâs it like to know that the capacity to behave in that way exists in you, too ö that it is part and parcel of being human? When you move into an experience of psychological wholeness, you can tolerate knowing this about yourself because you also know that you have the choice as to whether you would ever act on this inherent human potential.

The same is true on the positive side of things. Think of a person you admire in a heartfelt way, someone you feel is the kind of person youâd like to be. Itâs important to know that you also have, as your own potential, the capacity to actualize the qualities you so admire in the other. You just havenât allowed these qualities to come alive in yourself yet.

There are real benefits in discovering your own projections. If, for example, you are someone who has had to disown your desire to be first in line, the first person served, the most important person at a meeting, owning this part might help you overcome an inappropriate tendency to put yourself last, even as you resent doing so. Acknowledging your wish to be first allows you to have the choice to ask for what you want, rather than forcing you to be indignant when other people get what they want instead.

Or, if you can acknowledge your disowned fear, for example, rather than projecting it onto others by getting angry at people who are afraid to try new things, you create an opportunity to learn how to manage your fear more effectively. As long as the fear is out there, in the other, you are helpless to deal with how the unconscious power of your projection shapes the quality and tone of your daily life.

The other side of projection is "god-making" ö idealization. In addition to projecting negative qualities onto people, each of us also has the capacity to see in another the disowned power, love, and talent we cannot own in ourselves. For example, I recall a friendâs description of an affair she had that began as if it were a dream come true and ultimately ended up a bitter disappointment. When she met the man in question, my friend experienced him as someone who was strong and reliable, a person she could turn to for love, comfort, and security. She assumed he had plenty of money and that he was a "solid citizen." Much to her dismay, she eventually discovered that he was quite irresponsible and that he turned to her to get his needs met without giving much in return. As she explored what had attracted her to this man, my friend realized that she had projected her own strength, reliability, and competency onto him. She didnât know she could experience in herself the very qualities she believed she could get only from a man.

My friendâs experience isnât at all unusual. Many of us project positive disowned parts of ourselves into other people and then think it is only through being connected to them that we can have good feelings. We hand over power to people without realizing that the power resides in us as well. We lose ourselves through this kind of projection and never recognize, let alone actualize, our own deep potential.

Discovering Aspects of Your Own Shadow

Itâs not too hard to discover telltale signs of your shadow, once you get the hang of it. Shadow projections elicit powerfully intense reactions, usually accompanied by a strong feeling of self-righteousness or justification for how you feel.

When I was younger ö thank goodness, it was some time ago ö I always had at least one friend whom no one else could stand. This person was invariably difficult to get along with, had an abrasive personality, and was generally unlikable. People often asked me why I was friendly with these kinds of people, and I had no good answer. It was only as I began to explore my disowned self that I discovered the service these friends provided: they expressed the nastiness and unfriendliness that lived in me, as part of my shadow.

Having grown up in a family were being good was a prerequisite to being safe, I learned early on to hide angry and unreasonable responses, even from myself. As I matured and went through therapy, I became increasingly able to tolerate ö and value ö these parts of me. Slowly, over time, they were transformed into adult resources: into the ability to stand up for myself and disagree with people in a more open, direct way. Now I no longer need friends who "carry" my disowned self. Not only am I more comfortable in my own skin, but I also feel more at east with other people.

A friend of mine discovered a disowned part of herself in relation to her work. Coming from a family that had strongly valued education, my friend was told from the earliest time she can remember that she would grow up and go to college. All through school, she took college preparatory courses and set her mind on a career as a professor. She followed through and succeeded. She got a job at a good school and began to climb the professional ladder towards tenure and a full professorship.

Throughout her schooling, and then in her academic position, my friend experienced a particular kind of impatience with students and colleagues who took time off to ö as she called is ö "play." She realized that her reaction was irrational. Simply put, she felt she was better than these people because she worked all the time. She was at school early and stayed late. She published. She went to conferences. She read journals. What she didnât realize was that the students and colleagues who knew how to take some time off and enjoy life mirrored a disowned part of herself that she couldnât bear to acknowledge. If she had consciously felt how much she longed to be an artist, and how much she liked to be outdoors in nature, she would never have been able to fulfill her familyâs expectations.

As she connected with the disowned artist in herself, my friend began to shift her emphasis at work. Even with the sadness she felt at the lost years of spending time doing something she didnât care a lot about, she experienced an underlying excitement and energy around reclaiming a part of herself that yearned for expression. She didnât leave her work. It was so well-established at this point that it provided a regular and reliable source of income. Instead she created more time off and used it to develop her artistic skills. If she hadnât discovered her disowned artist, she would have continued to drive herself mercilessly in a job that didnât fully express her creative urges, and she would have continued to experience contempt for those who honored their need for creativity.

The shadow has so much power only because it is completely outside conscious awareness ö and therefore gets "its way" ö until we take the time to pay attention to it. In fact, its sole "job" is to remain outside consciousness. In the exercises and guided meditations that follow, you re invited to access different aspects of your shadow. First, youâll have an opportunity to explore parts of yourself that most people would consider unacceptable, unsavory, undesirable. Youâll identify these parts in several ways. In the experiment, you will look for qualities, reactions, thoughts, and feelings that represent aspects of your shadow. In the guided meditation, you will then have a chance to experience these aspects symbolically, represented as objects, people, animals, colors, or a "felt-sense." As you move through the experiment and guided meditation, give yourself permission to be curious and open-minded about what you discover. Keep in mind that the more you know about your whole self ö the more you acknowledge and accept the totality of your being ö the more comfortable you will be in the world and the safer you are for others to be around. It is the unacknowledged and unconscious aspects of the shadow that slip out sideways and cause unexpected and unanticipated problems with others. Also, remember that becoming conscious of the disowned parts of yourself allows you a greater choice in how you want to be.

In the second set of exercises, youâll explore your "golden shadow," that realm of disowned resources, talents, power, and abilities that had to be pushed out of awareness, for whatever reasons. It may surprise you to discover that it is often more difficult to reclaim your golden shadow parts than it is to acknowledge your unsavory characteristics. This is because your family, school, peer group, or religion probably didnât celebrate or approve of your particular talents ö or self-pride of any kind, for that matter. When you explore the golden shadow, allow yourself to bring the same curiosity, open-mindedness, and willingness to be whole that you bring to work with the darker side of yourself.

I recall a workshop participant who discovered a golden shadow part that represented a degree of competence she hadnât previously imagined she had available. When she first experienced this part of herself, she was exhilarated. Soon, though, mixed feelings arose. As she explored her discomfort, she realized that to become more competent in managing her daily life she would have to shift her relationship with her father. No longer would she be his "little girl." She hadnât realized that she was worried about taking this part of herself away from him. As she explored her response further, she realized that it didnât have anything to do with the present day. It was an old, unexamined response that no longer had meaning for her.

For a friend of mine, connecting with the golden shadow was an equally powerful experience. At first, he thought he had revealed a negative part of himself, because the qualities conveyed a sense of disowned entitlement. This was a person who always presented the image of being a "nice guy," someone who accommodated others and rarely stood up for himself. Represented symbolically as a Zorro figure, this emerging part knew exactly what he wanted. My friendâs mixed feelings ranged from excitement to a fearful conviction that no one would like him if he became more assertive. As part of the journey of integrating a conscious awareness of his natural feelings of entitlement, my friend also had to resolve his insecurities around not being liked. It turned out to be a rich and satisfying journey for him, which is a response many people have to discovering aspects of their golden shadow.

As you identify shadow parts and get to know them consciously, it is useful to track the shifting body states that accompany the process. For example, if you were to become aware of a previously unacknowledged part of you that was deeply suspicious, you might notice a sudden tension throughout your body that wasnât present before. Connecting with disowned feelings of playfulness, on the other hand, might be accompanied by a feeling of expansion in your chest or excitement in your stomach. Sadness might bring a sensation of heaviness in your heart, whereas anger or fear might create a gripping sensation in your gut.

These physical responses are different for each of us. Tracking them as they come and go offers yet one more way to become familiar with the qualities and responses in those parts of ourselves we have pushed outside conscious awareness.

Whichever aspects of the disowned self you address, be aware that your goal is not to bring all the qualities in your shadow into active expression in your life. Rather, it is to experience psychological wholeness and self-acceptance in a real and dynamic sense. It is also important to stress that the point of reclaiming aspects of your disowned self isnât to extend carte blanche acceptance to everyone or to behaviors that truly are destructive or unacceptable to you. In reality, there are people who do things that hurt others, that arenât helpful, that are evil. There really are characteristics that you will not want to express or support in the world. Instead, as I mentioned above, an important outcome of doing shadow work is developing a greater ability to choose how and who you want to be ö and be with.

Make It Real
Experiment #1: Identifying Disowned Parts

This experiment invites you to dive right in and begin to become increasingly conscious of shadow parts of yourself.

• Make a list of people you absolutely cannot stand. They may be family members, friends, neighbors, people at work, famous people ö anyone who causes a strong, knee-jerk reaction in you.

• Now list the qualities you dislike in them. You may describe them as evil, greedy, insensitive, lazy, dishonest ö or whatever it is about them that sends you up a wall. Also note what it is about the quality that is so upsetting to you. Take some time to describe it.
• For the guided meditation that follows, choose one quality you would like to explore, and imagine that the quality describes something about yourself. Notice how you feel about it. If youâre like most people, your first response is likely to be, "Iâm not like that!"
• Let yourself become aware of the judgments you have about this quality and notice the strength of your need to convince yourself it couldnât possibly illustrate something about you. Wonder a bit about how you would feel if it were possible that this quality describes a part of yourself. Be honest with yourself. This exercise is just between you and you. There is nothing to lose. What you have to gain is a wholeness that brings a greater sense of self-acceptance and well-being.
• Finally, wonder how this quality, once accepted and understood, might be transformed into an unexpected and valuable resource, or into a greater awareness of impulses and responses you want to know about but not express.

Guided Meditation #1:
Discovering Disowned Parts

To begin this meditative journey, settle yourself comfortably and be sure to invite mixed feelings to come along. Itâs natural to have them when dealing with shadow aspects, and you donât want to leave out any part of yourself. As you settle in, give yourself a few moments to focus on your breathing. Pay particular attention to the way in which your body settles even more when you follow the exhalation all the way to the bottom of the breath.

Allow yourself to become aware of the still point that exists between one breath and the next. There is no need for strain or struggle. Just notice the still point without demanding that it be either expansive or brief.

Now allow your body to continue to find its own level of comfort as your mind moves into your shadow journey. Imagine that you are walking along a path in a landscape that feels safe and supportive to you. It is a place where the sounds, smells, colors, and shapes all come together to convey a sense of being in the right place at this moment in time. If no imagery comes to mind, ask yourself what you would sense if you could be aware of moving along a path. Thereâs no need to see where you are; itâs enough to sense it.

Up ahead is one of the cages in which you have stored disowned parts of yourself. In this particular cage, there is a symbolic representation of the shadow aspect youâve chosen to explore. It may appear as an object, a person, an animal, some other kind of creature, anything at all. Be sure to allow yourself simply to discover what is in the cage, without any preconceptions or demands that it be this or that. If you happen to find that the cage is empty, emptiness itself is a quality and can represent an aspect of your shadow self.

What are your first impressions of the shadow part in the cage? Notice the shape, color, and qualities that come into your awareness, without editing or pushing away anything that comes spontaneously. Trust your unconscious to give you whatever impressions you need this time. Notice your reactions and responses to this part of yourself. Be sure to allow any mixed feelings you might have. Is curiosity one of the feelings you discover?

For just a moment, allow yourself to become the part of you that is in the cage so that you can experience it from the inside. As this part, what is the first thing you notice about yourself? How do you feel about what you discover? Whatâs it like to experience this part of yourself? Spend a few minutes exploring your awareness as this part.

Now move outside the cage. What do you feel? Can you imagine the resource that this shadow part might hold for you? What if it were to provide you with the opposite quality of what you experienced when you first discovered it? For example, if it represented fear, might it become a source of courage?

Take a few moments to review your experience. You may want to think about what it would be like if you were to unlock the cage, if you havenât already, and allow yourself to get to know this part better over time. Remember, thereâs no rush. If you want to keep the cage locked, thatâs fine, too. Just keep in mind that whatever has been locked away in the cage is part of your being, that you are less than whole ö and have less than your full energy available ö as long as it is disowned.

When youâre ready, begin to come back, knowing that you can return as many times as youâd like to get to know this part better. You may be surprised to discover that, even after one visit, a new and positive energy or capacity related to this part becomes more available to you, or that you feel more open, or stronger, in some new way.

Once youâre back, take a few moments to wiggle your fingers and toes, to make sure youâre all the way back. Then allow yourself some time to write down your experience.

Experiment #2:
Identifying Golden Shadow Parts

This experiment builds on the one you did on the darker side of the shadow by asking you to explore the disowned parts of yourself that are desirable qualities and talents.

• Take a few moments to think of people you really admire. List their qualities, what it is about them that moves you the most. Now consider that these qualities may actually reflect disowned parts of yourself.
• Once you have identified these golden shadow qualities, ask yourself what family rules you will break as you bring these qualities more actively into your life. Notice, especially, any fears you have about the reaction of people close to you if you were to actualize these golden shadow qualities.

Guided Meditation #2:
Accessing Your Golden Shadow

Follow the same format as the meditation for the darker side of the shadow, only this time choose a golden shadow quality you have projected onto someone. Allow the cage to contain whatever quality arises as you search for something that you know is a positive aspect of your being.

Shadowboxing:
Projecting Disowned Parts into Partners

Projection of disowned shadow parts really gets cooking in intimate relationships and family interactions. The people with whom we are most closely connected often receive our most powerful projections. In working with couples, I repeatedly see the ways in which disowned parts of the self are put into the other person ö at which point the unconscious goal of the relationship becomes an ongoing effort to change the other by exorcising and eliminating the characteristics partners canât own in themselves.

A classic example of how projection works in an intimate relationship was provided by a couple who had been together for only a short time. They had gotten married after a brief courtship and hadnât really had an opportunity to get to know each other very well before they began living together. Early on, the husband discovered that his wife was more timid than he had realized. He found that, whenever he wanted to take her on a skiing trip, or scuba diving, she didnât show the kind of enthusiasm he wanted her to have. Instead she often expressed fear and hesitation about going on the excursions he so enthusiastically planned.

Initially he allowed her the benefit of the doubt. Love conquers all, and his rose-colored glasses allowed him to overlook his growing irritation at her lack of delight at his recreational suggestions. Eventually, though, he grew increasingly angry at what he called her "unreasonable fear." He experienced her as a "wimp" and just wanted her to "get her act together" and come with him without comment.

It was only as he got in touch with his own disallowed fear that his reaction began to clarify. It turned out that, as a child, he had fallen into a lake and nearly drowned. Because of his fatherâs attitude about the accident ö that it wasnât any big deal and he should jump right in again and ignore his fear ö my clientâs initial response of terror got shoved into his shadow self. From that time on, whenever he met someone who expressed fear, he felt impatient with the other person ö just as his father had with him. He couldnât understand their fear and, more importantly, didnât want to be around it.

After working on reclaiming his natural reaction to almost drowning, his irritation with his wife lessened and, eventually, he stopped pressuring her. Between them, they worked out vacations that allowed him to do the things he loved and gave her the option to participate or not, depending on how she felt at any given time. He no longer had to push her fear away because he didnât have to push away his own. In addition, he began to acknowledge and experience more of his own fear and, over time, became less enamored of some of the riskier activities he had so hotly pursued early in his marriage.

Make It Real

Experiment #3: Identifying Disowned Parts
Projected Into Loved Ones

In this experiment, allow yourself to review your relationships with family members, your significant other, and close friends.

• To begin, look for areas where you find yourself reacting intensely to any of these loved ones. Identify what it is they do that elicits your impatience, contempt, anger, hatred, fear, or sense of helplessness. Ask yourself the following question: if only they would change ___________ or become ____________ [fill in the blanks yourself], then I ö or the situation ö would be fine.
• Reflect on the descriptions you put in the blanks and then do the guided meditation on discovering disowned parts to find out if you have projected part of yourself into the other person. Chances are that any quality that evokes an intense reaction in you points to a reflection of a disowned part of yourself.

Shadowboxing in the Community

We seek to kill off in the other what we cannot acknowledge in ourselves. The potential destructiveness of unconscious shadow projections operating on the collective level of communities and nations is truly stunning. Even a cursory look at the condition of world politics at this point in human history is enough to take my breath away when I pay attention to how many people are fighting one another over political ideologies, borders, ethnic differences, and religious beliefs, and how many people around the world are homeless and starving. I canât help thinking that the human species as a whole is having a shadow crisis, a veritable orgy of projection of disowned parts.

As hard as it may be to do so, it is important for each of us to ask what part we play, as individuals, in this collective need to blame others for being different from ourselves. While there is no way one person can make a powerful impact on such a general and pervasive expression of human activity and consciousness, it is possible for each one of us to do our own work with the intention of taking at least some of the shadow pressure off the current world crisis.

In the experiment that follows, I invite you to become aware of your individual contribution to collective shadowboxing and offer you an opportunity to explore how you might reclaim whatever part of yourself you have put into the fray.

Make It Real

Experiment #4: Reclaiming Generalized
Shadow Projections

• In this experiment, think of groups of people you dislike or even detest. Identify their characteristics and what it is about them that makes you feel self-righteous, angry, afraid, jealous, indignant, contemptuous, or whatever. Then, take those characteristics, one by one, into guided meditation #1 or 2.
• Over time, as you work with these upsetting characteristics in the guided meditation, notice any parallel changes you become aware of in your real-life interactions with people from these groups. Pay particular attention to those times when you no longer find yourself experiencing the kind of discomfort, judgment, or other negative responses you might have had before you took a look at your own issues.

Experiencing Yourself as a Kaleidoscope

As I mentioned in the Introduction, one of my favorite metaphors for representing the intricacy of psychological wholeness is the kaleidoscope. The kaleidoscope I have in my office has many pieces of lightly colored glass. Only now and then do a few pieces of purple or orange glass appear. As clients turn the tube, pattern after pattern emerges, each different from the one before. Once in a while, the purple or orange pieces appear and change the quality of the patterns altogether.

For me, the important meaning of the kaleidoscope as a metaphor for wholeness is that at no time are new pieces added. Every change in pattern and color happens as a result of a shift of pieces that already exist, that already are part of the whole. Pieces that were hidden suddenly come into view and add their quality to the overall pattern. When that happens, other pieces fade into the background, their qualities less distinctive, with less impact on the pattern that emerges.

Itâs the same with shadow work. As we allow ourselves to see the disowned parts of ourselves reflected in the kaleidoscope that is our being, we donât add anything that hasnât been part of us all along. All we do is shift what has been foreground and background. We bring characteristics and elements of our personalities that were in the background more directly into self-expression. Even when we choose not to act on aspects of our shadow self, our new consciousness of the qualities adds depth and character to our personality.

In the guided meditation that follows, you are invited to imagine yourself as a kaleidoscope and to acknowledge the fact that all the pieces of your whole self are required to create who you are at any given moment. Simply because some of them donât show doesnât mean they donât add their part to your self-expression, if only behind the scenes.

Make It Real

Guided Meditation #3:
On Being A Kaleidoscope

For this meditation, if you have access to an actual kaleidoscope, take a few minutes to look at it. Turn the tube and notice the shifting patterns that arise from exactly the same pieces of glass as they are rearranged over and over again. You will experience the metaphor more powerfully if itâs real to you.

Take a few moments to settle yourself comfortably in a place where you will be undisturbed for about ten minutes or so. Focus your attention on the still point between one breath and the next, on the gap between your last exhalation and the next inhalation. Thereâs nothing else to do. Simply invite your awareness to notice the gap and explore what itâs like to linger there.

Next, bring to mind a kaleidoscope youâve seen, or one that comes into your imagination now. Simply allow it to come to mind. If an image doesnât appear, notice what you sense, what comes if you ask yourself, "If I could be aware of a kaleidoscope right now, what would I notice?"

Put the eyepiece to your inner eye and notice the pattern inside the kaleidoscope. Simply become aware of the pattern you discover there. In your imagination, turn the kaleidoscope now and notice how the pattern changes. Keep turning it and notice the ever-changing patterns as the pieces of glass shift.

Remind yourself that nothing new is added when you change the pattern. All the pieces of glass remain the same ö they just change position.

Bring to mind your own complex self ö all the parts of yourself that constantly shift and change as life presents you with opportunities and challenges. As you acknowledge and reclaim your disowned self, you donât add anything new. You simply become aware of what has been there all along.

Take a moment to remind yourself that an experience of psychological wholeness simply means that you allow yourself to be aware of all your characteristics and qualities. It doesnât mean you have to express them or show them to everyone. Recall that the kaleidoscope draws on all the pieces as the pattern shifts and changes. Take a moment to ponder what it means to you to allow all the aspects of your being to be available to you, all the time, whenever you need to access them.

When youâre ready, reorient yourself to the outer world, to your everyday consciousness. Bring with you whatever sense you may have of the importance that each part within you plays in creating an experience eof wholeness and connection with yourself.

The Shadow Side of Spirituality

In a world characterized by wholeness, every aspect of life has its hidden side. Spirituality is no exception. I recall a Buddhist meditation teacher who, after many years of meditation practice, discovered the benefits of psychotherapy. He talked about the tremendous help he received when he combined the two approaches as part of an overall process of centering and deepening his consciousness. What he learned was the undeniable fact that to enhance a sense of wholeness, every aspect of our experience needs to be included.

For many of us, spiritual beliefs and practices enhance a daily sense of connection to something larger than ourselves. Whether we believe in an organized religion, find our place within a biological whole, or create our own spiritual approach, spirituality can be a powerful source of comfort.

Unfortunately ö and not surprisingly ö it also can become a hiding place. Shadow issues emerge in our spiritual lives in a number of powerful ways. For example, we may use our spiritual beliefs to entrench or justify a sense of "us versus them," whereby we project our disowned self onto others with the added element of religious or spiritual conviction. If your belief system promotes an idea of "us versus them," it is worth asking yourself how you can increase your awareness of the ways in which you may be using your beliefs to hide from aspects of your shadow self.

Some of us find deep solace in our spiritual beliefs and practices, and this is a beneficial and life-enhancing experience. The shadow side of seeking solace, though, emerges when we refuse to deal with discomfort or conflict and escape instead into a "spiritual outlook." For example, in my work with couples, I occasionally find someone who retreats into religion or spirituality when there has been an argument. People have different ways of expressing this kind of protective response, and one of the most common is by going off to meditate or pray, or by refusing to talk about difficult or charged issues and putting on a cheerful face instead. This kind of response allows the person to avoid the sometimes painful process of working through disagreements, which not only leaves the partner hanging but also prevents communication and intimacy.

You can tell the shadow is present when you use this kind of strategy and have the experience of feeling perfectly justified ö in fact, self-righteous ö about your actions. You really believe it is beneath you to get angry or to express your "negative" feelings. As was true with my grandmother, chances are that your unconscious goal is to push out of awareness any anger, fear, or other intense emotion in order to maintain a state of calm. The problem is that this strategy is like trying to put the lid back on the proverbial can of worms.

The stillness and calm of meditation offers a respite, a place to settle and just be for a while. But meditation, too, has its shadow side when it is used as a way to hide from the tasks and responsibilities of daily life. In fact, expanded states of consciousness of all kinds can become hiding places ö or the compulsive focus of an addictive response. I have known people who tend toward addictive behaviors ö overeating, compulsive shopping, overworking ö who create a meditation practice that takes over their lives. They overdo it, sitting for hours at a time. Thatâs fine when theyâre at a retreat. Itâs a problem when the rest of their life suffers because they spend every spare moment in an altered state of consciousness.

The sense of connection that emerges when we tap into expansive states of consciousness offers a profoundly nourishing experience that is further enhanced when we have a sense of receiving spiritual inspiration or divine guidance. These experiences can convey a feeling of never truly being alone, of having somewhere to turn when we are in need. The shadow side ö and thereâs a powerful one here ö is the belief of being special, superior to other people, because of the guidance or inspiration that is received.

When we fall into this trap ö which actually is a natural development as we mature spiritually ö we are usually unaware of the humbling fact that expanded states of consciousness bring a universal experience of being special, loved, and valued. Instead of understanding that we have personally experienced a universally available state, we draw on the feeling of being special to add further fuel to a sense of "us versus them." Now, we can be the good, worthy, valued one and, conveniently enough, the others ö the recipients of our shadow projections ö can be unworthy.

Another area where the shadow emerges with potentially disastrous results is in the special relationship that arises with spiritual teachers or religious leaders. Under normal circumstances, these relationships offer invaluable support and guidance. When disowned aspects of the golden shadow relate to our own sense of personal power, though, we may find a feeling of empowerment and security only in relation to someone else. Our association with the spiritual teacher or religious figure then becomes the source of feelings of power and connection. It is all too easy to relinquish good judgment when we disown our own sense of personal power. One of the worst examples of what can happen when people project their disowned power onto another person is Jonestown, Guyana, where 900 people died at Jim Jonesâs command.

I recall a workshop participant who had a spiritual teacher whom she deeply loved. It was only in the presence of her teacher that this woman found comfort and any sense of wholeness at all. During one of the exercises on reclaiming the disowned self, she found a part of herself that seemed to overflow with feelings of love. As the exercise progressed, she discovered that she could experience, in herself, some of the feelings she had thought possible only in relation to her teacher.

It is equally important to keep in mind that shadow parts can become resources once they are brought into conscious awareness. For example, spiritual pride ö acting out of a sense of superiority over others ö has the potential to become a healthy sense of spiritual empowerment.

A relative of mine had a long history of following spiritual teachers. He experienced fervent devotion with each, only to become disillusioned and disappointed when each teacher revealed inevitable flaws. Over time, the spiritual pride which my relative had invested in his teachers became conscious. He realized he was seeking in them a sense of empowerment and connection that he didnât believe he could attain on his own. Once this awareness was available to him, he began to explore his own spiritual power and capacities. Eventually, he found within himself the sense of belonging he had always sought from others.

Have you noticed that there is simply no place you can go without bringing your shadow along? Thatâs why the goal isnât to get rid of it. What you do want to achieve is the ability to recognize and acknowledge it, knowing that the awareness you develop means you donât have to live your shadow.

Make It Real

Experiment #5: Identifying Disowned Aspects
Of Your Spiritual Self

This experiment draws on the others that have invited you to identify disowned aspects of yourself.

• To begin, identify spiritual leaders you have known or read about who have a particularly powerful impact on you, whether positive or negative. You may also want to include friends or co-workers who express their spirituality in a way that has a notable impact on you.
• Pay attention to those people whom you feel have qualities you believe you could never experience in yourself and explore the possibility that they reflect a disowned part of yourself. Ask yourself if there were any childhood experiences or unspoken family "rules" that conveyed disapproval of these qualities.
• Then ask yourself what it would be like to express those qualities in your own life. You might want to return to the Golden Shadow Meditation with this issue in mind.

Whatever you choose to do, remember that the journey into wholeness invites you into a level of self-acceptance that is transforming. When you know and embrace your whole self, both you and the world are safer for it. When you allow yourself to know your spiritual strengths as well as your vulnerabilities, the journey becomes more comfortable for you and those who travel with you.

Guided Meditation #4: The Spiritual Shadow

Settle in comfortably now before taking a journey into the shadow realm of spirituality. Spend a few moments simply noticing your breathing. Give yourself permission to travel with each exhalation to the bottom of the breath. Spend a few moments there, at the bottom of the breath, connecting with "home base."

Now, take a moment to imagine that you are on a journey in a beautiful place. It may be an actual place youâve seen before, or a place in your imagination that is beautiful in some way that has particular meaning to you right now. Notice that, somewhere in this beautiful place, you discover a mirror. It is a special mirror, focused on your spiritual development. It has the capacity to reflect two sides of you. On one side of the mirror is the aspect of yourself that is giving, loving, nurturing ö all the positive qualities you can imagine about yourself. On the other side of the mirror are reflections of your spiritual pride, feelings of separateness or being better than other people ö or any of the other potentially negative aspects of the shadow side of spirituality.

Allow the mirror to turn so that the reflection of the shadow side of your spirituality is facing you. Simply be open and aware. There is nothing to do, nothing to change. Just notice what you discover reflected in the mirror. The reflection may be a symbol, an image, a word, a color, a person, an animal, or anything at all that has meaning for you.

What is your first reaction to what is reflected in the mirror? Just notice whatever comes.

• What qualities are predominant in the reflection?
• What associations, thoughts, feelings, or sensations do you have in response to what is reflected there?

Give yourself a moment now to become the reflection in the mirror so that you can experience it from the inside. There is a part of your mind that knows how to do this automatically and perfectly. Just move your awareness inside the reflection now and notice what comes to you.

• What is your first impression?
• Does any part of your body draw your attention through either discomfort, comfort, or some other sensation?
• Notice any sensations in your body that werenât there a moment ago. Are you calmer or more centered? Do you hold your body in a new way?
• What feelings, thoughts, state of mind, or perspective accompany your experience of being the reflection?

Take a few moments now just to be with your experience. Remember that you are bringing part of yourself into conscious awareness. It is part of your wholeness and you need to know about it. Be sure to allow yourself to be fully aware of any mixed feelings you may have.

Imagine that this shadow aspect of yourself has qualities that would make it a useful resource. You may not even be able to imagine, just now, what those might be. Just let yourself remain open to the possibility.

Now allow the mirror to turn to the positive side and experience the resource that is reflected there, the translation of the shadow part into something useful.

• What is your first impression?
• What feelings, thoughts, states of mind, or perspective accompany your experience of being this resourceful reflection?
• What sensations do you notice? Are you calmer? Do you feel steadier or more solidly centered in your body? Do you feel more expansive or powerful?

Spend a few moments exploring whatever has come into your experience. Be sure to allow mixed feelings and curiosity to accompany you every step of the way. Now, go back to the shadow side of the reflection and notice that you may be able to hold both reflections in your mind at once: the shadow side and the resource side. There is nothing else to do at this point. Just allow yourself to return to that beautiful place where you began.

• Take a few moments to review your experience of the two reflections and how you felt about each.
• How might your life and relationships be different if you were to shift from shadow to resource?
• What might you have to lose if you were to transform this shadow part?

Remember that you can return to this journey any time to look at as many shadow aspects of your spiritual journey as you want to discover and resolve. And, most important of all, remember that the journey into wholeness invites you into awarenesses that can make it safer for you to be in the world and that empower you to feel more centered and grounded.

Our Collective Shadow

One more aspect of the shadow requires our attention: the aspect of consciousness that is collective in nature. I the realm of collective consciousness, where w4e are both individual and part of a larger whole, at some level we participate in everything that happens in our world. When we, as a species, refuse to look at our individual and collective shadow issues, they break through on a large scale and affect us in powerful ways.

For example, notice how many wars are being waged around the planet at any given time. Skirmishes and conflicts abound around the entire globe so that as a war is resolved in one part of the world, another begins somewhere else. Itâs worth pondering what is going on in human consciousness that seems to require conflict to erupt somewhere all the time.

There are some people who say that we, as a species, unconsciously enlist individuals to express our collective shadow issues for us. If this were true, then those people who cause injury to others, who act in antisocial ways, who spearhead movements or activities that pit one group against another, may actually function in service to the rest of us by expressing aspects of the shadow we refuse to acknowledge in ourselves.

This notion may sound crazy, but imagine what would happen if you believed it were true. What would it be like for you if the person who robs you, or the serial killer who threatens whole communities, were viewed as an expression of your own disowned rage and sadism? What would you experience if you thought that the person who asks you to dislike another group of people because they are "inferior," "less intelligent," "aggressive," or any other description, were viewed as representing part of your own fear of difference?

A story comes to mind of a man who viciously attacked a woman in Central Park in broad daylight. He went on to kill another woman and seriously injure two more before he was stopped. The reason he gave for his behavior was that his girlfriend had left him and he hated women.

I remember thinking at the time how this man represented, for me, an externalization of an unacknowledged vulnerability and rage that exists in many of us. His actions both frightened and saddened me. As a woman, I was reminded how precarious my lot can be in the face of a manâs uncontrolled rage. As an individual within a collective context, my conviction was reinforced that this manâs behavior reflected something present in both men and women whose pain and vulnerability have been disowned, pushed into the shadow, and then projected onto others who are less powerful. Seeking to destroy their own vulnerability, these wounded people vent their rage on the very same helplessness they cannot face in themselves. Even as I write, I know that "these people" are all of us ö "they" are you and me as well.

To recognize how an individual may express our personal shadow issues in these collective ways doesnât take away that individualâs responsibility for his or her actions, nor does it lessen the outrage at inhuman behavior. The point of this perspective is to emphasize the hard-to-grasp truth that doing our own individual shadow work has profound implications that extend far beyond our field of personal vision. For this reason, it seems to me that, as individuals, we must reclaim our whole selves in order to help heal our world, our relationships with our own species and with other forms of life that share our planet with us. As each of us becomes whole and is willing to experience both light and shadow, our collective humanity may have less need to express the shadow on a mass scale.

And so . . .

At the beginning of our exploration of the shadow, I mentioned the metaphor of how light and shadow give depth and beauty to nature. Always, it is the combination of both that creates a context of wholeness. Increasingly, you can notice the play of light and shadow in all arenas of life. For example, pay attention to the people you care about, or those with whom you spend time when at work. Become aware of those who remind you of light, those who remind you of shadow, and those in whom you notice some of both. Let these people become mirrors for you, even as you recognize that part of yourself will always be in shadow and part in light. Remember that there is no way to be fully conscious of your whole self at any one moment. The creative solution is to be able to move through both light and shadow with openness and a willingness to be self-aware on an ongoing basis.

Living consciously from an experience of wholeness leaves out nothing and invites every element to be present. Total shadow can be threatening and frightening, while total light can be overwhelming or downright uninteresting. In the blend of the two you discover something much richer.

Allowing yourself and your life to be as rich and deep as possible requires that you adopt an attitude of self-acceptance, a recognition of your inevitable frailty and imperfection, and that of others. In the next chapter, weâll explore natural companions to shadow work ö compassion and lovingkindness.

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