Week Eight: Revisiting Being Mindful: Embracing Mixed Feelings

Being mindful is an ongoing journey. By practicing mindfulness when things are relatively easy, we learn a skill that allows us to move through challenging experiences with greater equanimity when they arise. Recently, I had to participate in euthanizing a cat who has been in my life for many years. It was the kind of experience that challenged me to be fully present, whether I was crying, laughing, reminiscing, having my heart broken, interacting with people at the animal hospital, or feeling gratitude that the cat didn’t have to suffer needlessly. I realized how grateful I was that I have practiced allowing thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations move through me without struggle, as there was an abundance of all manner of these as the experience unfolded.

In this week’s experiment, I’d like to invite you to again explore mindfulness in a grounded, moment-to-moment way. For example, right now, as you read this, become aware of the sensations under and around your body – of the surface supporting you, of the way your body feels to be supported. As you read, know that you are reading and notice what’s happening in your mind, emotions, and body as you do so. Remember that there’s nothing to change, nothing really even to do. This is just an invitation to awareness. Pay particular attention, as well, to any mixed feelings you may have, either about what I’ve shared above, or about something that might be going on in your life right now.

For this week, whenever you engage an experience, a moment, an interaction that generates mixed feelings, explore what it’s like just to notice and accept them all without having to move to one side or the other of what you’re feeling, without having to change whatever it is that has arisen. The practice is simply to notice what’s there, experience it, and allow it to continue to move through you as the next thing arises.

Being able to be present to mixed feelings is a real gift, as it allows us to move through almost any experience with a greater sense of ease. Instead of getting caught up in thinking we should or shouldn’t be feeling this or that, we simply notice whatever is there without struggle.

It’s useful to practice mindfulness when things are going along smoothly, because then you’ll have it well in place when life presents its inevitable challenges. Each and every moment becomes a classroom, a useful lesson, because it doesn’t really matter whether it’s a good moment or one that feels awful. The process of practice is the same: notice what’s there, pay particular attention to mixed feelings about it, and allow it to move through. And, remember that it’s called practice for a reason – the goal is not to move through life’s challenges perfectly. Instead, the opportunity is to learn to be able to move through experiences with greater ease, no matter what they may be. It’s one of the things I really like about practicing mindfulness – there’s no final grade. We just keep becoming increasingly aware and able to be present to what is with less stress and strain, even when something really difficult moves arrives on the doorstep.

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