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| Week
125: |
Practices
for the New Year – Part II |
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Here’s another possibility to take with you into the coming year – a
practice that can offer a powerful way to go deeper into last week’s
experiment. It’s about taking on the intention to develop the
theme of “radical acceptance” that we explored before. Along
with self-forgiveness, we have an opportunity to begin the new year
with an experience of being willing to simply be who we are – of
being willing to tolerate the discomfort of our mistakes, of our frailties,
of where we don’t measure up to the person we want to be.
The strange thing about acceptance is that, rather than encouraging
us to continue with behavior we don’t like, it helps us to feel
comfortable enough with ourselves to want to do better. Some people
are afraid that if they are kind with themselves, they’ll fall
into less awareness, or will allow themselves to do things they don’t
want to do. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Notice, for example,
if you have a moment of shame or feeling you should have done something
different from what you did, what happens when you are actively willing
to go through that discomfort and just allow it be what it is? By not
falling into self-criticism, you give yourself enough space to let the
uncomfortable feelings to move through and then move on. By accepting
yourself as you are, you’re not saying that you don’t want
to improve. Instead, you’re allowing yourself to be human, to
be the imperfect being you actually are – that we all are – and
allowing that to be okay with you.
As you work with this week’s experiment, as last week’s,
be sure to give yourself lots of permission to explore what it’s
like to bring an open curiosity to your inevitable lapses of good judgment,
inelegant responses to people, your slips of the tongue when you’re
talking to someone, and all the other myriad ways you show yourself
to be an imperfect human. The process of radical acceptance is learning
to tolerate the discomfort that comes from our being truly human,
and to give ourselves the space to move through the discomfort into
the
next moment.
The intention to generate self-acceptance is a gift that we can continue
to give ourselves as the year progresses. The effects are nothing short
of astounding and I invite you to discover for yourself the power of
radical self-acceptance throughout the New Year.
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