During this year’s Networker conference, I did something I have never done in all my years of teaching. I forgot the end time of a workshop and ran over. I actually didn’t realize the time was over until a friend walked in and I realized he was no longer in the workshop he had attended. It was a startling moment and I abruptly ended, in a workshop where the focus was on self-regulation and containment. I felt unsettled by not having taken the usual time I normally would to have people settle and ground before leaving. For me, this was a big mistake, and I found that I had to spend some time with myself as I watched uncomfortable thoughts and feelings arise as a result of having misjudged the end time. Other than sending an apology to the participants, there wasn’t much else I could do, so I had no choice but to sit with my experience and make room for it to be what it was.

What struck me is how I have changed around this kind of mistake. In the past, I would have beaten myself up and had any number of days of shame and distress. This time, I allowed myself to feel the uncomfortable responses in me, and gave them room to arise and move through. In addition, I decided that, in the future, I will always have someone in the room keeping time for me so that they can signal me before the end time. Even though I’ve never run over before, I now know that’s possible, and want to do whatever I can to keep it from happening again.

I have a question I ask clients at the beginning of therapy that I asked myself after this workshop: “Are you willing to be uncomfortable?” A willingness to be uncomfortable allows us to sit in awareness rather than react or try to run away from our feelings. Another reason to be willing to be uncomfortable is that life doesn’t unfold smoothly in every moment and we are bound to make mistakes along the way. This doesn’t mean we don’t want to be mindful and get things right when we can, but our very human-ness guarantees that we will continue to learn by our mistakes.

And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to be aware of your responses when you make mistakes. What’s the quality of your thoughts? What happens in your body? Do you allow yourself to use mistakes as an active invitation to learn something better or new, or do you use mistakes to prove that you’re not a good person? Since we are body-mind beings, it’s important to track your physical sensations, emotions, and the thoughts you have about your experience. Each contributes in its own way to your ability either to allow what arises in you to move through and move on, or to become mired in thoughts and feelings that turn in on themselves and generate even more discomfort.

As with all the experiments, please be gentle with yourself. What I love most about mindfulness practices is the compassion they generate, and I wish the experience of benevolent compassion toward ourselves for all of us as we continue to explore living consciously.