I heard a story on the news this morning that captured my attention because of how it saddened me.  It brought to mind the ways that many of us are becoming so accustomed to violence that we are able to overlook what may be happening right under our noses.

The story was about a woman who had been attacked in a store and how the store’s camera recorded her experience.  Five people literally walked over her in order to continue their shopping, except for one person who stopped to take a photo with his camera. 

The news report got me to thinking about the studies on bystander behavior I learned about when I was in college many years ago.  It appears that we often tend to respond based on what the people around us do in a given situation.  For example, if someone offers help, more of us will tend to offer help.  If people stand by and do nothing, more of us will tend to stand by and do nothing.  Fortunately, there are often people who model helpful behavior for the rest of us, even in something as seemingly small as offering to help a mother wrestle a baby carriage onto a bus.

For this week’s experiment, I invite you to pay attention to your acts of kindness, and how you respond with compassion – or not – to the events you notice happening around you.  This doesn’t mean to become a superhero and jump into any and all situations that require help.  Rather, this is a more subtle practice of noticing your initial impulses and then being mindful of what you actually do in a given situation.  It involves being aware not only of your internal experience but also of what you may model for others.  (Remember that the power of being mindfully aware is that, when we are, we have more choices than we do when we’re on auto-pilot.)

For example, on a decidedly small scale, I noticed a smoking trash barrel on the way to my office one morning in Central Park and took the time to move it away from some bushes.  Then, I called the fire department just to make sure that they knew there was a small fire in the trash barrel.  It wasn’t anything anyone would give medals for doing, and no one knew I was taking these actions, but they were my way of insisting that I not ignore what’s going on in my world, and that I not just walk by when action is possible and not dangerous for me to engage.

Also, there are many times when my “action” is to drop into tonglen breathing and offer my support that way, as I often do when I’m on a subway car or bus and someone is angry or arguing.  I’m not likely to physically intervene, but I am going to offer the kind of support I can, rather than ignore what’s happening.  At the very least, I want my heart to be touched by what’s going on around me, even when it’s impossible or too dangerous to directly intervene.

And so, please engage this experiment lightly, with curiosity, and allow yourself to explore how your awareness moves through your world.  And, as always, be gentle with yourself as you pay attention to the choices you make along the way.  You might even have fun doing little acts of kindness that no one will ever notice, but that will allow you to know that you’re aware of what’s going on around you and able to respond when it feels right to do so.