I was at the annual Psychotherapy Networker Symposium recently, and had the opportunity to hear Marsha Linehan’s keynote presentation.  She’s a psychologist who has contributed tremendously to the therapy world with her Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).  She talked about her background in Zen meditation and Christian centering prayer – about the years she spent learning and practicing these approaches.  Then, she described how she translated the principles of Zen practice into her DBT approach.  One of the greatest gifts of DBT is how it helps clients learn to become mindful in ways that immediately impact how they move through the world - how they track their experience and the choices they make.

She talked about her concept of “wise mind”, which is what I would call the mindful, present-day, benevolent observer.  When we are in “wise mind”, we are conscious of the choices we make and the impact of these choices on our lives.  She gave a wonderful example of someone who was fighting with her doctors over medication issues and how she suddenly realized that she wasn’t using “wise mind” – that she was creating more stress for herself and not getting the outcome she wanted.  As soon as she dropped into “wise mind”, she allowed herself to cooperate with what was being requested of her and, as a result, was subsequently able to get what she actually needed.

And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to explore your relationship with “wise mind”.  For example, if you find yourself arguing with someone, or struggling with a situation you can’t change, ask yourself if you’re using “wise mind” in that moment.  Chances are that you’ll find you’re in a reactive mode rather than a mindful one.  The great opportunity here is that, as soon as you discover you aren’t in “wise mind”, you can choose to let go of your reaction and move into a more mindful, conscious relationship to what’s unfolding in that moment.

Or, if you find yourself reacting to someone from what you know is a child place, ask yourself how you would handle things if you were using “wise mind” instead of “child mind”.  This shift in perspective can make the difference that actually makes a difference, as we interpret things from a more updated point of view when we’re in our centered, present-day, adult state of mind.  When we’re in “child mind”, we look through a lens that projects the past onto the present and we react rather than choose how to respond.

As with all the experiments, be sure to hold any judgments lightly, perhaps noticing them and then letting them drop away or hover somewhere “over there” instead of in the front of your awareness.  Also, having curiosity as your constant companion helps support an open awareness to what emerges in the present moment and also helps generate options when there’s a need to shift from “child mind” to “wise mind”.

Remember, these experiments are offered to support living consciously, to support a friendly and compassionate attitude toward our inevitable, human tendency to fall out of “wise mind” at a moment’s notice, and to help us refocus in the present moment with our resourceful, centered adult awareness.