Returning to the journey of Susan Boyle and her singing, one of the things that struck me most powerfully was her inherent confidence and spark, even in the presence of the disrespect shown to her at the beginning of her audition in Britain.  (See last week’s experiment.)  It seems she knows her own talent and was quite certain she would give the audience a performance that would surprise and delight them.

This got me to thinking of the gift of allowing ourselves to experience and acknowledge our true strengths and talents, and to bring these into the world.  For example, I’ve known people who had wonderful artistic talent, but their sense of inadequacy or fear of the judgment of others held them back from expressing their artistry.  So many of us have held ourselves back because of these kinds of fears.  I remember, many years ago, watching a friend refuse to learn to water ski after he fell down on his first try.  It saddened me to see him give up because of his fear of humiliation and his feeling of inadequacy.  How many experiences do we keep ourselves from having because of this kind of lack of confidence and fear of humiliation?

And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to explore those areas in your life where you feel confident and those where you feel inadequate.  Then, as you identify each, notice what happens if you play with the following:

With those areas where you feel confident, what happens if you imagine expressing these talents, skills, or ways of being more overtly, more actively in your life?  If you were to imagine places and situations where you might express your confidence, what do you experience in your body as you imagine doing so successfully?  It’s helpful to become familiar with the sensations and body states that accompany a feeling of self-confidence.  Our physical experience helps us to access psychological states connected with confidence.  Also, what kinds of statements do you find yourself saying, internally, when you experience your self-confidence?

Then, in those areas where you may feel inadequate or fear humiliation, what would happen if you were to imagine that there’s a part of you, your optimal future self, who has moved beyond feeling inadequate and has developed, instead, an experience of self-confidence?  Would it be all right for you to say ‘yes’ to having this shift happen in you, even if you’re currently frightened by the idea?  The good news in doing this kind of process is that you don’t have to *do* anything overt.  All you need to do is say ‘yes’ and then let your own deep wisdom work on it for you. 

As with all the experiments, please allow any self-judgment that may arise to float on through without your giving it any energy.  Self-judgments are inevitable, but we don’t have to make friends with them or feed them extra energy by trying to fend them off or struggle with them in whatever way.  Whenever we engage issues of inadequacy, shame comes along for the ride, as well.  It’s helpful to remember that’s just part of the package and not to give shame energy, either.

The goal with this experiment is to get to know your relationship with self-confidence and inadequacy better so you can be more aware when you are in one or the other.  Then, with that awareness, you have a chance of making more choices about which experience you want to support and which you want to allow to move through without adding any additional energy to it.